We’re at breakfast, just Ezra and mama bear, polishing off our porridge. I look at my beautiful boy, really look at him. His hair needs a trim, there’s still sleep in his eye. The sharp lines of manhood are starting to cut through at the cheek and chin.
I feel my heart swell with pride that this is my son, such a funny, serious, miraculous creature. So I tell him.
‘I’m very proud of you Ezra. Not because of anything you did. It’s because of who you are.’
‘What?’ He’s taken aback but already smiling.
‘I’m serious. I think you’re a great boy. You make me laugh, you have a wonderful sense of humour. You’re a really good example to Jed.’
‘Not always.’
‘Not always but most of the time. He learns a lot from you. You’re strong and smart and patient. I love the way you play together. Also you’re a good listener, especially after you’ve done something wrong. You learn from your mistakes. I love the way your mind works. Most of all, I love the way you show kindness and how you care about things so deeply. I’m proud to be your mummy.’
He’s blushing now. All teeth.
‘I’m proud to be your son,’ he says.
Then he gets up and hugs me. So tight it leaves me breathless.
We let go. He’s still grinning as he dumps his bowl in the dishwasher and dashes off.
The rest of the day will be a jumble of video games, bicycle riding, football, wrestling, movies, snack time, books, dinner, bath, bed — not necessarily in that order!
Maybe tomorrow he won’t even remember this conversation. And most likely, our day will also include punching, screaming, tears (from the kids) and some yelling (from me)… because no 24 hours is perfect. But it doesn’t really matter. We had that moment. And no amount of minutes, hours, days or years can erase that feeling.
The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.
When was the last time you paid your child a compliment, from the heart? I don’t mean pointing out their physical attributes or even achievements necessarily, but something that speaks to the core of who they are?
I know it’s not always easy. The babes make me nuts most days. The last thing I feel like doing is flinging compliments around.
As parents, we can get so stressed out trying to manage the little monkeys, we forget they won’t be little for very long. Then at night we tiptoe in to watch them sleeping. Wishing we could preserve them like this forever. Whispering words of love over their dreaming frames.
The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.
That quote by Peggy O’Mara, passed around on social media, struck a deep chord with me. As a writer, I know how important words are. There is nothing more powerful than a mother speaking words of love over her child. Just ask Harry Potter.
I’m trying to be more mindful of how I speak to the boys. For me, words of love don’t have to be mushy. The other day I found myself quoting Ice Cube on the school run (‘You’d better check yo’self before you wreck yourself’).
Ezra will often reply to my mini lectures with ‘good pep talk, mum’. It makes us all laugh. These are some of my favourite mum moments.
A simple ‘I love you’ after a long day can work magic. But why not go the extra step? Start with ‘I love the way you… (fill in your own blanks)’. Share something that you’ve noticed and value about your child, something that surprises them. Catch your kids off guard. Their response might just take your breath away.
NB: This post was originally written as part of Babes Lucky 7 giveaway collaboration with Hotel Chocolat who invited me and my readers to share our favourite Mum Moments. The giveaway is now over, congratulations again to the lucky winner Lucy J! Visit our Giveaway page for any open competitions and offers.
London Kids Weekend Scoop (March 16-19, 2017)
my son this morning when i asked him was he getting me a good present as it is my 40th and its a milestone his answer was is it a milestone because you made it to 40 and you’ve not died lovely child made me chuckle
Becoming a mam for the first time! I gave birth to my first and eldest son naturally and held him in my arms within seconds of his birth – it was magical!
When I brought home my second child my main hope was that my first child wouldn’t hate her (and me). I also hoped he wouldn’t smother her if I left the room and wouldn’t throw matchbox cars at her head. Never did I imagine that they’d actually like each other! If there is one thing more adorable than the uncontrollable giggle of a small child it is the uncontrollable giggles of two. Especially when they are laughing at each other. He loves nothing more then playing with and watching over his little sister. Makes me so proud.
I remember being at birth of my daughter and seeing my wife become a mum, and having my own mum there for support at the same time. Magic!
I love that my children are honest with me about all sorts of things, troubles & annoyances. They know I have their back!
I love spending time with my Mum every Friday morning, we always meet even when things are busy and we have coffee and cake
I remember the first time my daughter went away with school to seahouses Northumberland I was more nervous than her, she bought me a little toadstool ornament I still have it thirty years later
Definitely the first time my babies ever gave me a kiss
Impossible to select just one, Mum has given me a life time of wonderful Mum moments :) x
My mum holding a chicken at a farm when we were kids
talking to mum on the phone every friday :)
we love going for coffee together
Perfect box to share with mum over a cup of tea on Sunday!
My son saving up to buy me a necklace for my birthday.
being our mum she is very special
Any time I spend with my Mum is special, especially girly days shopping and lunch
When I read to my son every night, we really bond.
Hotel Chocolat are my favourite…. too yum. Whoever wins is a lucky person :-)
My mum teaching me baking as a child
This is so powerful. I’m doing my best to become more patient, pick and choose my battles. I don’t want to always be hollering lol. I want to be their champion and encourage, not just chastise. This was more affirmation and encouragement. Awesome post!
So moving, thank you Uju, this made me cry x
Seeing my son for the first time was a pretty amazing moment! x
hearing my daughter speak in 2 languages (mummy’s and daddy’s), its not always perfect but such a sweet moment
spending time reading with our daughter
my most recent mummy moment was when my son took his driving test a few weeks ago
Seeing my son become such a wonderful loving father to his little son, I’m so proud of him.
I’m not a mom yet, but my favourite moments with my mom, where whenever I would get hurt, I would go to her. She would give me a kiss and a hug and tell me everything would be alright. And it was like magic-soon after everything was better :)
What a beautiful post Uju. Had me in tears. And I love that quote too. Happy mama day in advance xxx
Surprising my mum with gifts she has wanted, but not realised I had bought her and the look on her face.
i love watching my son score goals
My baby just learned how to clap, she does it with such concentration and is so proud of herself when she does it. Makes me so proud and happy to see my little chick learning all the simple things we take for granted, so happy I get to be the one to teach how how to be a good human being.
I have 4 children and my favourite moments are when we are all doing something together – whether it’s a day out or just lounging watching a film.
Watching my daughter play her violin and bring the audience to a complete hush.
Thanks so much darling Nomita, happy mother’s day to you x
Thanks sweetie Vicki, love you lady x
Thanks so much for your kind words Timil. It’s not that easy sticking to this, but I love it as a reminder to go a little gentler with their little souls from time to time. Growing up is rough! x
I’m loving all these shared moments, so touching and funny some of you! Thanks so much for taking part x
My favourite #MumMoments is the memories of an amazing childhood she gave me, and all the story telling at bed time she often made up her own and to me they were the best :)
my middle son is a really wonderful sensitive lad and he just knows when i’m having a difficult day – i love it when he just reaches out, holds my hand and looks at me as if to say ‘i understand’ – He doesn’t even need to say a word. that is one of my favourite mummy moments. x
Lovely post. My daughter has started asking me unprompted really simply, but lovely questions about my day. “how was your day mummy? What did you have for lunch?” It’s only a small thing but I love it.
Snuggling up on the couch together under a Duvet
Now he’s a teenager, the times when the two of us just sit on his bed and talk (can be about anything) are really precious.
When Mum told me how proud she is of me – such as doing well at school, homework, games, work etc
Mum being dragged into a lake by our dog chasing the ducks! So funny! :)
mum buying me my first gig ticket (Busted!)
HOW PROUD SHE WAS WITH US
I think the moment the midwife places your baby on your chest after you’ve given birth to them is the most amazing feeling in the world – there’s just nothing like it!
When she proudly told me she had ‘fixed’ the coffee cup holder on my PC with insulating tape.
my daughter’s smile and her first words!
seeing our Daughter becoming a Mum was a very special time for us, she is a superb Mummy to our little Grandson and we are so proud of her.
I used to go to work with my mum in the taxi office, one of my favourite things to do would be to people watch and assign songs to them based on what they were doing
Looking through old photos and reminiscing about the good times
What a wonderful post! And congratulations on 7 years :-)
Nadia xx
When my baby said ‘Mummy’ for the first time
My son reaching milestones we were told he would never achieve.
Seeing my mom hold her first grandchild, my daughter, for the first time
I am amazed on a daily basis by my children and the people they are becoming :)
watching my biggest 2 in their dance panto for the first time, it was amazing x
I don’t have any mum moments as I don’t have any children, nor have I had a mum since I was 9, so I don’t really remember any mum moments with her
Just recently when my Mum came to stay and we just laughed the whole time 😊
My first mothers day last year was so lovely, just my card was amazing, it was all just really sweet x
I love all the wonderful comments I get from family and friends about how polite my girls are :) makes me proud.
It brought tears to my eyes when my son gave his balloon to his little sister when hers floated away. #proudmummymoment
My favourite mum moments are when I get the best cuddles and kisses from my children and they look at me like I am their world
Watching my now adult twins thrive and grow in to gorgeous people! Makes my heart swell :)
When my mum met her grandaughter for the first time.
MUM FOOD! :)
I love travelling with my mum every summer and going on adventures together.
My Mum Moment was when my daughter was born and I seen her face for the first time and the feeling of overpowering love that washed over me.
Listening to my mum telling me stories of her life before she got married….more of a wild child than me lol
I love it when my son randomly turns to me and tells me that he loves me
Last year myself and my daughter went to Cardiff to celebrate her 16th Birthday, we had a posh Spa weekend in a 5* hotel, went to Cardiff Castle (highly recommended for a day out) and had a lovely slap up dinner, I felt so close to her, we had such a lovely time, I am always so very proud of the lovely young lady she is becoming, and it just felt that weekend everything was perfect :) xxx
My eldest son booking a weekend away for me I was gobsmacked and crying x
has to be holding my baby for the first time. no matter how mant babies I have every time feel special
when my daughter says “love you mummy” as I drop her off at school each morning
I don’t have any kids only 2 cats!
Recently is has to be hearing my son read, it’s so wonderful when they learn something new x
Listening to my little boy sing happily to himself when he doesn’t think anyone is looking always makes me smile.
My 8 year old daughter telling me I may be the oldest mum in her class but I’m the prettiest and the bestest! Aww
Seeing my babies heartbeat on the screen for the first time. I am pregnant with my first after a miscarriage
I got my mum tickets to see the full monty! Absoltuely hilarious, went down very well.
My favourite mum moment was with my own mum – after a very hard few years and in my late 20s I was able to take my mum away for a night – we saw a show at the Bristol Hippodrome and went out for a posh meal :) It was the first holiday either of us had had since I was 12 and so also the first time we’d been away since I was an adult, and ever as just mother & daughter – and it was so special for both of us
There are many special moments especially holding my daughters for the first time and being old it’s twins in my second pregnacy
The bonding you feel with your children after they are born
Seeing their personalities develop as they become their own person
Snuggling up on the sofa with my daughter laughing at cartoons x
Reading to the children and being snuggled up to them.
every moment is so presious they grwo too quickly! i love watching my daughter learn new things
If it was a moment with my mum it would have to be making toffee apples and selling them for 10p to the local children. Mom and me loved cooking together we didn’t gain anything back as the money gained was to buy more apples and sugar to make the next week. This was like 37 years ago we also used to make sponge cakes kids loved it better then buying sweets at shop
Being a mum is magic every day
When my son who is obsessed with gymnastics was picked to join the boys squad and won 2 medals at his first gymnastics competition. He was ecstatic and we were so proud of him
My mum throwing a whole packet of cheese across the room in rage and then us having hysterical laughter about it
No funny moments springing to mind… I do love being a mummy though – it’s absolutely wonderful and so rewarding
Snuggling up on the couch watching films and eating rubbish we still do it even though my eldest is 18!
Our daughter pooing all over her dad about 30 seconds after she was born!
I loved our lunches in town and our nights out she was an amazing mum.
Some happy and devastatingly sad moments. At the min I love to see my 2 year old learning to talk, she comes out with new words every day and copies us all the time. She’s very funny.
One of my favourite mom moments was when my son was 6, half way through his Christmas assembly, he stopped the performances, waving at me with a big smile on his face. My heart just melted. He looked so proud of himself.
Bedtime! Sleeping children are the best
Mum trying to teach me (a left-handed person) to knit …. happy days!
One of my favourite moments has to be painting with the kids even though they make a complete mess it is still fun
My favourite mum moments are my little girl’s loving hugs and her funny comments, she makes me smile every day and I feel so blessed to have her.
my fave moment is every time they make me laugh I think of how proud they make me feel
I think it was when my youngest son said mum, it took him over 5 years but he got there in the end
dancing around the kitchen with my mum while baking cookies
Some of these comments give me goosebumps. Nothing like those precious mum moments. Thank you all for sharing and taking part x
Seeing my little boy smile
Teaching the kids to ride their ponies just as my mum did with me at that age.
Seeing my children play together and chatting without arguing. So lovely
Watching my develop develop interests and talents and just seeing her become a wonderful little girl :)
My son doing a little drawing in my Mother’s Day card.
Being told our baby girl wouldn’t walk and she defining the odds. I cried when she first walked.
Christmas Day morning,being woken early to see if Father Christmas had been, they still have stockings at 22,20 and 18 !!
I have so many I couldn’t round it down to just one. I am sooo proud of my 14 year old for getting into Arts college at such a young age, my middle daughter for going up 6 levels over the 6 weeks holidays last year by being determined and reading constantly to try to catch up despite her learning difficulties and I am proud of my little one because despite having ADHD she is a very loving and caring girl and although it kills me to see her struggle each day her determination always makes me proud. Thank you for the chance to win.
The first smiles of my children
all the things they made for me at school, all those glittery things
The best time when my daughter say: mum I love you!
I love at bedtime when my daughter says she loves us and hugs us.
Watching our lovely son grow and develop into a beautiful young man
When my daughter first smiled at me with direct eye contact.
I think the best mum moment ever is when they say Mum for the first time
My favourite mum moment is sitting down with a good g&t and watching a good film
The cuddles on the sofa!
Going Christmas shopping with my Mum every year and spending most of the day ‘having lunch’ haha!
when my mum taught me how to bake
when I saw my grandchild being born
when my mum told me i had a little sister
I will never forget snoozing on the sofa and my son thinking I was deep asleep. He came up to me and gave me the most gentle of kisses on my cheek and said love you mummy
When the kids genuinely make me cry with laughing they’re so funny
Cuddlying my children on the sofa at night after dinner and reading to them.
Going for bike rides as a kid with my mum. We had such great fun and had picnics
Knowing that my sons accept me for who/what I am (crazy)
It would have to be the birth of my two daughters, holding them for the first time
Knowing that even after all my mistakes and break downs my children still love and respect me and understand life’s not always as easy as you’d like it to be!
My favorite moments are when I get to cuddle my children.
I love reading all of these stories ❤ my favourite moment was my son meeting his baby sister for the first time. He wouldn’t stop kissing her it was so amazing to see!
I just love being a part of watching my sons grow up into fine men who are both so caring and think of others, so proud of them both and do tell them
my favourite mum moment is experiencing my daughters first, like first smile laugh word
Every moment I love being a mum
Snuggling up on the sofa, chatting and watching movies
Seeing her today for a lovely Sunday lunch.
I love going for long walks in beautiful forests and places where there is lots of nature with my mum for some bonding time :)
When my son graduated with a law degree
Would love to give these to my mum. as I love her
Baking together
Seeing my son walk for the very first time, it’s a memory that will stay with me forever
APPLE PIE BAKE TIME
The birth of my beautiful great neice Esmay in my home
Baking and Making things with various crafts is always so much fun
making cakes with my mum when i was a child
My children giving me the best hugs and kisses and telling me they love me xx
Absolutely all of them!! from holding a new born baby to graduation and everything in between and after
I love the snuggles, the laughter and the “I Love you mum” normally when he wants something !!!!!
For me it’s all the little things. Getting to cheer them on in their hobbies (loudly, I’m “embarrassing mum” personified) and being the one they come to for cuddles, comfort and to share their secrets!
the special smile dedicated just for me.
Long chats and evenings watching movies together xx
Ahh, what a lovely read. My son is only a few months old so most moments are lovely but I especially love the way he grins a toothless grin at me whenever he spots me. It melts my heart.