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What’s Burning Wednesday: To smack or not to smack?
Jul - 14 | 14 comments | Related : News & Gossip
If they have this ‘law’ when I was little then our prisons would be full of parents since I grew up with plenty of physical corporal punishments. You’re so spot on about “Parenting is hard enough without feeling like we’re being policed in our own homes. What we need is more support and tools to cope effectively under stress and to provide discipline that works.” Bravo! Very true and I agree with you although I don’t personally agree with smacking, I think there are other ways to discipline a child effectively such as time-outs, taking privileges away. Good article, lady! :D
Hi Maureen, thanks and that made me laugh as I thought the prisons in Nigeria and many other parts of the world would be bursting with mums and dads too! Although frankly many parents go overboard and abuse their power over their kids and that really does need to be checked by law. Glad you appreciate the piece :-)
I agree with your bottom line. My children are older now but we did give them a few swats on their bottom from time to time. Obviously, control and reason are important. The thing I found most troublesome is that the government feels the need to legislate and monitor parenting. I live in the US, so I may have a different mindframe, but I do not think those things are the government’s purview.
City Mouse, you’re right, it’s the idea of the government deciding for parents before parents have even had a chance to really discuss and set their own parameters on this issue. But it’s a tricky balance as children are vulnerable in many situations and do need protection, sometimes even from their parents!
Well written. And I didn’t expect your level-headed and common sense answer. I agree with you on almost every point. However, I do know that in Honduas, child abuse is rampant. However, I don’t think it’s spanking, smacking, etc.Hondurans are very tolerant of their children. In fact, overly tolerant. They tend to be neglectful to an extreme, and some people are quick to abandon their children. Also, children are expected in many houses to work at young ages, and some parents don’t work after age 35 or so because that’s the job of the children. Very hard culture to change the patterns. And don’t even get me started on the sexual abuse of girls and boys.
Hi Laurie, fascinating response. So interesting how different societies take on completely different approach to child rearing. And you’re right, so much is about cultural expectations. That’s one of the good things about mixing cultures, it does force us to take a look at our own ways of doing things and consider new paths. Thanks for your comments.
Hi, thanks for visiting my blog. Am here to return the favour.
I totally agree that “parenting is hard enough without feeling like we are being policed in our own homes”. Though I’m not for smacking, the occasional tap (not with the full force of our hands but with a finger or two) on a protected bum should be left to a parent’s discretion.
Ultimately 90% of the world’s parents will lay down their life for their child, so I think the little ones are pretty safe.
I really appreciate your balanced discussion and your bottom line. Thanks. Hope SITS a great Saturday for you. I’m glad that there are some even handed people thinking through these issues in the public sphere.
Hi nmaha, that’s an excellent point that 90 percent of parents are ready to die for their kids. But for some that element of ‘I’ll do anything for you’ includes ‘I’ll do anything to keep you on the straight and narrow’ and that’s open to interpretation…even abuse! Great comment, thanks for coming by.
Hi Anna, thanks it’s nice to hear that I come across as balanced…most of the time I just feel confused! Even on this issue lol
Uju I couldn’t agree more with you! I don’t smack my children often either, in fact if I have ever done, it’s been the very last resort. It’s always on the bum and never the face or ever to intentionally hurt them. It’s not pain I’m trying to inflict more than shock and their attention. But like you, I can count on one hand how many times I’ve done it. There are so many extremes in parenting, from the abusers to the too softies who try to reason and give their children a voice in everything. My children are confident enough to express their opinions, but equally there are times where they are not offered a choice. They must learn the world does not always work their way, otherwise how would I be prepping them for the big world later? A total ban on smacking? I think not, lest we open ourselves to the debate of what denotes a smack. Trust me, everyone won’t be on the same page there.
Excellently put, Mesina. I’m right there with you on every point (soul sister!) It really is about opening ourselves up to the debate and taking a long hard look at how we provide boundaries for our kids, rather than letting the government weigh in with its heavy hand.
One punishment does not fit all. ’nuff said.
Popping in from SITS!
Hi Jessica, too true and well put.