Warning: This post contains frequent reference to bodily functions that might be off-putting to anybody who is not presently in charge of a little pooper hero.
Somewhere on my list of things to do over the Easter break is to start potty training Jed.
Jed has been potty aware since last year when we brought down Ezra’s potty from the attic and started reading Boys’ Potty Time.
Now that he’s 2 and 2 months, it seems like time, although I can’t really say I’m feeling the pressure. Ezra wasn’t fully trained until around 2 and 9 months.
I attended a Potty Training seminar at Bemerton Children’s Centre here in Islington, led by Islington child psychologist Dr. Kate Woollaston. It was an engaging session and I picked up some good advice.
I’ve highlighted my favourite potty-training tips using actual quotes from Shakespeare. Because that’s how I roll.
Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow
One surprising reason why toddlers might be resistant to potty training is that they feel secure in their nappies. What looks soggy and uncomfortable to you is actually a warm container hugging their bottoms. The cold hard plastic of the potty doesn’t compare. So go easy on the transition.
It Smells to Heaven
Try not to appear disgusted by the contents of your baby’s nappy (or potty) as small kids find it hard to separate themselves from what their bodies produce. I can’t pretend that Jed’s dumps are delicious but I’ll make sure to say things like ‘Oh what a big job you’ve done!’ rather than ‘woah, that’s gross’.
Shall I Compare Thee
Use lots of modelling behaviour. Make a big deal about going to the toilet yourself. Put your child’s favourite teddy on the potty and give teddy a sticker when he’s ‘done’. If you have sons, let them also see daddy doing his thing. Read potty books, tell stories, go shopping for ‘grown up’ underpants.
Ripeness is All
Look for signs that your child’s ready. Kids usually gain bowel control before bladder control, so it’s best to wait until they can tell you their nappies are wet (typically between 18 months and 2 and a half years). Don’t start at a time when there are any other big changes (e.g. new baby, moving house, starting school). Do try and develop a potty-sitting routine that fits in with family life. Wait until he’s using the potty at home regularly before venturing out without nappies.
And no matter what your great-aunt or other ‘advisors’ claim, potty training is not a race. It can take anywhere from 1 week up to 1 year depending on the child and both day and night wetting can be hereditary. If it’s becoming a struggle, wait a few weeks before you try again.
The Crack of Doom
Although babes are usually bowel conscious earlier, the path to poo poo is not always smooth. If a child gets constipation and feels pain, they might develop a fear of passing stools. If it gets really bad, visit your GP who should prescribe stool softeners. Increase their fibre and fluid intake. Aim for potty sitting at least once a day at the same time – usually 20 minutes after a meal. Don’t let him strain but encourage him to push now and then by imagining he’s blowing up a balloon.
A Hit, A Very Palpable Hit
Celebrate when your child succeeds in doing her first poo or wee on the potty. Be positive – praise every effort at using the potty and good toilet behaviour (flushing, washing hands). Stay upbeat if they have an accident. Use a reward chart with stars or stickers for each small step.
Screw Your Courage to the Sticking Place
Toilet training can be stressful on kids, but it’s equally rough on the parent who spends time changing clothes and sheets, mopping floors and wondering if you’ll forever be a slave to your baby’s butt. Be consistent with your potty plan, but go at your own pace and take breaks when needed.
My favourite tip from Dr. Woollaston was to make your own mental sticker chart and reward yourself after a hard week of potty training.
Chocolate/wine/new shoes/all of the above – whatever you need to take the edge off. It’s doctor’s orders.
Visit NHS Guide to Potty Training
Find out about similar seminars at your local Children’s Centre
Contact Bemerton Children’s Centre on 0207 527 4806 for details of their next parenting seminar
Good luck with it, I will have to do my second one in a few months as well.. I am hoping it will be easier second time round as he watches his big brother quite a bit now on the toilet.
You are just too brilliant! LOL
Let me know if you need someone to take you out for that glass of wine. I can’t be bothered to potty train just yet, but I truly feel the urge to reward myself with a glass of white. And a sticker on the chart, of course ;-)
We’re hoping to do the same so let’s get Romeo and Juliet together for a nudey wee/poo party when boys back at school?!!
great tips – and very timely as i’m considering we could be near the time to potty-train my little one. so dreading it though… but you gave me some confidence with these tips. love that you incorporated shakespeare! :)
Hi Frankie, I know that was my hope too except Jed until recently used to wail in terror when I lifted him to the toilet. But now that ‘big boy’ thing is kicking in and he wants to sit on it, so I’ll take advantage!
Thanks Afrikabelle. I’m glad SOMEBODY recognises my genius round here. Bwah ha ha ha ha. **swivels in chair while laughing maniacally**
Hey Deborah, boy do we need our rewards. I’m up for the wine, anytime. When are you back after Easter? Just say when and I’ll bring the stickers too :-)
Ooh I say Joanna! ;-) It does sound like a plan. I’m especially inclined to kick back with that sherry and let Mother Nature take her course!
Hi Lindsay, I’m glad you liked the tips, with a little help from the Bard. I might suggest it to that Doctor for her next session. Shakespeare always said it best!
Brilliant advice here and love the words, ‘it’s not a race’-I do feel this pressure that A should be potty trained as he’s 2 1/2 but if he’s not ready then I don’t want to stress him out. I love the sound of rewarding myself too hun xx
Hey Vicki, they go at their own pace, especially the more strong willed bubbas and you know we’ve got headstrong boys on our hands. Helps that they’re so cute so we can forgive them too eh? And we all need rewards, absolutely!