My baby is 4 today. I can’t believe it’s been four years since I became a mum. Nothing has been the same since.
Motherhood. If only I had known then what I know now, I would have done things differently.
If I had known then what I know now, I would have… slept more, had more naps, enjoyed siesta-thons in a hammock on a beach. I would have kept a journal recording the transient wonder of deep sleep.
I would have partied harder, faster, all night, 48 hours, even 72. You did these things, some might argue, and I say yes. But I would have done more.
I would have partied until daylight burnt my eyes and the police were on my tail. I would have drunk Mel Gibson under a table. I would have put Courtney Love to shame.
If only I had known. I would have worn shorter skirts and longer boots and plungier bras and belly tops. My midriff on constant display. I would have lived in sky-high stilettos, the kind you can’t walk in carrying anything heavier than a lipstick.
I would have tossed angst and self-doubt to the wind.
I would have made love more often in many more places (maybe with a few more people). I would have explored. I would have travelled further inside and out.
I would have truly savoured the taste of solitude and cherished the sound of silence.
I would have leaped from a plane without looking back, a parachute my only attachment. Floating to earth without a care in this world.
I would have flown by the seat of my pants, sometimes with no pants at all.
I would have put more energy into chasing my dreams. Owned the spotlight when I had it, instead of retreating to the wings. I would have written more stories and read more books. Been my number one priority for as long as it took.
If only I had known.
But today I am a mother. And I wouldn’t change a thing.
So here’s a birthday toast to all the mothers out there and a question: what would you have done differently if only you had known?