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Motherhood. If only I’d known.

February 2, 2010 //  by Uju//  8 Comments

 
Ezra and Mum in Corsica 2009
 
My baby is 4 today. I can’t believe it’s been four years since I became a mum. Nothing has been the same since.

Motherhood. If only I had known then what I know now, I would have done things differently.

If I had known then what I know now, I would have… slept more, had more naps, enjoyed siesta-thons in a hammock on a beach. I would have kept a journal recording the transient wonder of deep sleep.

I would have partied harder, faster, all night, 48 hours, even 72. You did these things, some might argue, and I say yes. But I would have done more.

I would have partied until daylight burnt my eyes and the police were on my tail. I would have drunk Mel Gibson under a table. I would have put Courtney Love to shame.

If only I had known. I would have worn shorter skirts and longer boots and plungier bras and belly tops. My midriff on constant display. I would have lived in sky-high stilettos, the kind you can’t walk in carrying anything heavier than a lipstick.

I would have tossed angst and self-doubt to the wind.

I would have made love more often in many more places (maybe with a few more people). I would have explored. I would have travelled further inside and out.

I would have truly savoured the taste of solitude and cherished the sound of silence.

I would have leaped from a plane without looking back, a parachute my only attachment. Floating to earth without a care in this world.

I would have flown by the seat of my pants, sometimes with no pants at all.

I would have put more energy into chasing my dreams. Owned the spotlight when I had it, instead of retreating to the wings. I would have written more stories and read more books. Been my number one priority for as long as it took.

If only I had known.

But today I am a mother. And I wouldn’t change a thing.

So here’s a birthday toast to all the mothers out there and a question: what would you have done differently if only you had known?

 
Family Photo Shoot with Natasha Alipour Faridani Babes Sofa Shot 2
 

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Category: LifeTag: baby, birthday, mums

About Uju

Uju Asika is a writer and blogger, a digital consultant and author of Bringing Up Race: How to Raise a Kind Child in a Prejudiced World, published in September 2020 by Yellow Kite (Hachette UK). Available in hardback, ebook and audiobook formats on Amazon, Waterstones and other good bookshops. Follow Uju @babesabouttown on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram.

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Comments

  1. Lisa Williams

    February 3, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    Love this! I definitely would have used the time alone with my husband more wisely (meaning…spending less time at work and having more fun with him!). I would have traveled more and worried less!! :-) I would have not stressed as much about trying to get prego……and would have just enjoyed being able to wake up when I wanted to and being able to pick up and go somewhere without taking a half hour to get a diaper bag and baby ready! Although…like you….I wouldn’t change a thing. Life would be so boring without my two little ones!!!!! :-)

  2. Uju

    February 3, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    Hi Lisa, I know if only my hubby and I could have banked that time just being ‘us’ as a couple, much as I adore being ‘we’ as a family, you never get it back do you? And yeah, definitely worried less because the worry once you have kids lasts a lifetime I guess. Thanks for the great feedback, fellow Babe ;-)

  3. Hannie

    February 5, 2010 at 11:32 am

    Hey Gorgeous! Thanks for the advice;) I love this piece. Beautifully written, and though I haven’t got a baby yet I will try live a little bit more by that;)Fantastic blog. I love it, and have sent link to friends with little ones. See you soon & love to all. Hannie xx

  4. Uju

    February 6, 2010 at 10:49 am

    Thanks Hannie! It’s definitely a heads up to ‘hands-free Babes’ (i.e. no little babes yet) to get out there and do it while you can (whatever it is!).

    But of course life doesn’t stop when you have kids and that’s what Babes about Town is all about. So please tell all your friends and play mates :-) See you back soon!

  5. Mahala

    February 8, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    We became mothers just a couple of weeks apart. I’m happy to say I did lots of the things on your list, some to excess perhaps (well, you have to do *something* to excess, don’t you?).

    One thing I would have liked to have done more of is travel. I didn’t see nearly enough places before I was a mother. Still, now I shall have the pleasure of discovering these places with my son.

  6. Uju

    February 9, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    Hey there, well congrats on your recent birthday celebrations and super congrats on managing to cram so much in before mamahood overtook you.

    I would have loved to travel more too, especially some kind of extended honeymoon with papa dearest. I do enjoy taking the munchkins abroad but it’s never exactly a holiday. You always feel you need another break by the time you get back!

  7. Tammy

    February 18, 2010 at 11:33 am

    You can still do all those things. Well some of them anyway!

    I would have gone backpacking around the world for a year.

  8. Uju

    February 18, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Hi Tammy! You’re right, I could probably do all those things, but would I…?

    When I was younger, the thought of ‘what would my parents think’ actually helped restrict some of my wilder impulses.

    Nowadays it’s ‘how would this affect my babies’ that holds me back. Don’t get me wrong, life hasn’t stopped, it’s just different and definitely a lot tamer. Theoretically you can still go backpacking, although it’s a much heavier load now! ;-)

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