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Lovers, Unplugged

February 8, 2010 //  by Uju//  4 Comments

As the hubby and I lay in bed the other night scrolling through our respective Crackberries, a thought bubble hovered over my head.

It read, ‘What is wrong with this picture?’

I know we’re not the only couple who finds themselves in the grip of their smart phones, browsing after lights off.

But that scene made me reflect again on how much more connected we are in these times yet how much less engaged.

Some while ago, Mr. Babe and I established Wednesdays as TV Turn-Off night. The idea was to have at least one evening when, after the kids were finally asleep, we did more than just flop on the sofa in front of Eastenders or The Wire.

TV Turn-Off night meant curling up together with our books and chill-out music in the background. Reading side by side creates a far more intimate space than hooking up to the outside world via tech.

But since this night often coincided with pressing concerns like Champions League football, it quickly fell by the wayside.

Many new mums and dads, in an effort to keep the home fires burning, arrange ‘Date Night’ every week. But for some, even that sounds like hard work with all the shaving of legs, rustling up of gourmet meals, lighting of candles and maybe hiring of babysitters.

So with V-day looming, I’ve got a new proposition for my hubby and any other lazy couples out there. How about just one night dedicated to being ‘unplugged’, a night when we ‘switch off and open up’?

Unplugged means turning off the telly, shutting down the laptop, putting phones on silent and focusing inwards for a change.

And before anyone’s teeth start gritting, ‘opening up’ doesn’t have to mean revealing the depths of your soul while trying to look your partner in the eye.

It can simply be about opening up a bottle of wine and reminiscing about the first time you got together, who pulled who, and how far you’ve come. Try opening up a box of old photos, letters or souvenirs and sharing a bit of each other’s history. Maybe open up a ‘couples only’ board game or other suitably corny ‘erotic’ activity and see where the night leads.

Or simply open up a book and enjoy the old school companionship of reading side by side or even aloud to each other.

The rustle of pages beats the click and whirr of gadgets any day. And at least when you read, there’s always one hand free for human contact…

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Category: LifeTag: Life, Valentine's Day

About Uju

Uju Asika is a writer, blogger and creative consultant. She is the author of Raising Boys Who Do Better: A Hopeful Guide for a New Generation (DK/Penguin Random House), Bringing Up Race: How to Raise a Kind Child in a Prejudiced World (Yellow Kite/Hachette UK) and the delightful picture book A World for Me and You, illustrated by Jennie Poh (Hachette Children's Group). Uju's books are available at Bookshop.org, Amazon, Waterstones and other good bookshops. Follow Uju @babesabouttown on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram.

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Comments

  1. parenting BY dummies

    February 8, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    Hubby and I rarely spend time plugged in together since our crazy house is too noisy for any sort of focus on any sort of thing. But, we could use a night where we use our regular voices to converse as opposed to shouting over the crazy that seems to be going on 24/7. That’s a novel idea I can only dream of trying.

  2. Uju

    February 9, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    LOL you’re right, the simple art of conversation often gets lost in the shuffle when you’re constantly rounding up the troops. I think my two boys are loud, I can only imagine how your three bring the noise! They look adorable and I love the name of your blog by the way. Boy do I relate ;-) (of course that’s only when I’m not being a hip, smart parent…lol)

  3. Afrikabelle

    February 14, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    What’s great about this idea is that, even unmarried couples, or heck, just roommates can take a hint from it! Every social relationship needs a re-charge, even one’s own relationship with oneself–especially when surrounded by new technologies that are designed for over-stimulation!!!

  4. Uju

    February 14, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    ‘one’s own relationship with oneself’…totally on point. Sometimes all you need is a little unplugging to actually feel recharged!

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